The emotional impact of abortion is not something that is often discussed in our society. Many women experience regret, shame, or guilt because of their abortions, and it can be a truly traumatic event if they were pressured into it by a husband, boyfriend, or family member. But it’s not only women who suffer from the effects of abortion. There are many men who grieve their lost children and have a difficult time seeking forgiveness and healing.
Some may view men who are involved in the pro-life movement as out of touch, or only concerned about controlling women. But the reality is that many of them advocate for the unborn because they have experienced the pain and negative impact of abortion first-hand.
John explained that, “Back in those days I used to joke that I was worshiping at the altar of ESPN. I definitely took a vacation away from my Catholic faith, and I really wasn’t practicing. You might say I was out of practice and was looking for love in all the wrong places.”
He shared how his girlfriend found out she was pregnant and told him she wanted to get an abortion. John said, “I remember going down on one knee, almost like when you go down to ask someone to marry you, but it was just the opposite. I was asking her, ‘Please don’t kill the baby.’ And she absolutely insisted that she was going to do it. And she insisted that I pay for it. And I cooperated in this very life-changing event by paying for the abortion.”
John said that his participation in the abortion haunted him, as he still very much longed to be a father. He told Drew, “At the time I didn’t understand God’s infinite ocean of mercy, something that you pray about every single day here during the Divine Mercy hour. And it wasn’t until years later when I had a major conversion to our Lord Jesus Christ later on in my life that I came to understand God’s infinite mercy and His ability to forgive me for what I had done.”
“So I’m post-abortive, but that’s only part of the story. The good news is I’m also joyfully an adoptive father, and it’s by the grace of God I can say that today.”
John and his wife Cindy had been married for three years but had been unable to conceive a child. They had looked into adoption through an agency, but the costs to go that route seemed insurmountable. Then, one day, John received a call from a friend. She told John that her husband had just delivered a baby, and the mother was looking to place the baby with an adoptive family. Would he and Cindy be interested in welcoming this baby into their family?
“Well, 18 hours later we walk out of the hospital with this beautiful little bundle of joy,” John recalled.
As someone who had carried the pain of a past abortion with him, John said that the opportunity to be an adoptive father was an incredibly healing experience.
“He is the joy of my life,” John said of his son. “This kid is just awesome. It’s an incredible story of God’s providence and the sanctity of human life. And also a reminder that the birth mother could have chosen abortion. She could have. He could have been one of the statistics, one of the numbers of the now 61 million unborn babies. But she chose life. And because of it, we have this unbelievable child.”
“There are many, many men out there who have wounds, who have been affected physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally [by abortion]. I experienced bouts of depression. It was very, very difficult. But like I said, by the grace of God, rededicating my life to my Catholic faith, coming back to the sacraments, coming back to the Mass, I was able to overcome that very difficult, life-changing event.”
Listen to the full conversation with John Morales below: