The idea of what it takes to be a man or a father today has taken a very strange turn. The entertainment industry would have us believe that fathers are bumbling fools who don’t know how to connect with their children or be loving and respectful husbands anymore. Instead of seeing the growth and intimacy of a family, we’re fed scenes of divorce, rampant infidelity, estrangement, and abuse, as if it’s normal. There is very little celebration of traditional family values.
John Morales had Dr. John Cuddeback on Morning Air to discuss this unfortunate transformation of men and the problems it’s causing, as well as how men can reorient themselves to take back their dignity.
Dr. Cuddeback started by explaining this perversion of men’s status in society. Using the words of Aristotle, he said that a society will end up producing the kind of men that it honors, meaning that men will imitate the behavior of those who seem to benefit from society. “We are not honoring men for being good men. We’re honoring men for various and sundry things that men sometimes do, but we’re not honoring men who have really seen the essence of a call of manhood, even just on the natural level, not to mention in Christianity.”
In contrary to this attitude of letting society determine what type of men we will be, Dr. Cuddeback urges men to look to the plan of nature. This plan that appeals to our natural role as strong men is always in line with God’s supernatural plan for us because He created us. He knows what’s best for us. While it may feel strange at first to live so counter-culturally, we have to be willing to discover what He has in store.
“And Dr. Cuddeback, would you agree that it’s never too late, even if you’ve been married for a bunch of years and you haven’t been acting like the man of the household, you can still make strides to try to become that man of the household?” asked John. “Absolutely,” Dr. Cuddeback agreed. He said that we need to be conscious of the fact that we all fall short in our family lives. The fact that fathers and husbands make mistakes doesn’t preclude them from being strong family leaders. The key to success is to begin again. We can’t find blame, point fingers, or despair in our failures. In fact, we should look forward to failures as opportunities to learn.
John then asked Dr. Cuddeback what he thought the role of a husband was in the household and what responsibilities come with it. He responded by saying that according to the plan of nature, men are called to take first responsibility as “head of the household.” We’re constantly berated by a politically correct culture that to assume a man is the leader of a family is wrong and it’s offensive. But the head of a household is simply that person who takes first responsibility. “It’s the person who, by God’s natural and supernatural design, has to look first to step forward to say, ‘How can I,’ and I love to use this term, ‘How can I craft a good human life in the relationships in my household.’ This is what a man is to excel at.” A man should be the “crafter of relationships,” between he and his wife, he and his children, and between his wife and his children.
Dr. Cuddeback said that oftentimes when he speaks about this topic, women call in, distressed about the role they’ve had to assume because their husband won’t step up to the plate in terms of familial relationships. He said that people despair because upon hearing where they should be at, they simply realize how far from the plan they have strayed. “Courage, be of good heart. It’s always good to begin with the truth. We need to live in the truth. We need to see the gift of what God’s calling us to and that’s the basis for wherever we are.” All that God asks of us is our best. He encouraged women to draw their husbands to the plan of nature and include them in this plan. It’s never too late to start.
Addressing men, he said while it’s hard to hear, they were designed to take responsibility. He encouraged men to pray, maintain a humble attitude in this reorientation to the family, and to turn to other men for help. Today, people stay so focused on their careers, the other facets of their life fall to the wayside. People don’t realize how much their careers would benefit from the incorporation of family into their lives.
Listen to the full interview below:
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