Lesson 38
Can You Get Married On The Beach?
Welcome back to our Lenten Lessons on the Sacraments. Let’s continue with the Sacrament of Marriage.
Who can get married? Marriage is for one man and for one woman, and in the Catholic Church, normally it is between two practicing Catholics who are baptized and have received their first Holy Communion, First Confession, and Confirmation. In the United States they have to be at least eighteen years old to get married without their parents’ permission, but with their parents’ permission the woman could be as young as fourteen and the man as young as sixteen, according to canon law, because at that age, usually, the woman and the man are capable of reproduction, and that is one of the primary ends of marriage: to procreate and raise children. The other primary end of marriage is the mutual love and help of the spouses, helping each other to get to heaven.
It is best for the bride and bridegroom to prepare themselves for the Sacrament of Marriage by going to confession before Marriage, so that being in the state of grace the graces of the sacrament will actually help them fulfill their commitments to each other and to the Church.
At this point, because this sacrament is so important, it will be helpful to quote directly from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
1625 The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent; “to be free” means:
– not being under constraint;
– not impeded by any natural or ecclesiastical law.
1626 The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that “makes the marriage.” If consent is lacking there is no marriage.
1627 The consent consists in a “human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other”: “I take you to be my wife” – “I take you to be my husband.” This consent that binds the spouses to each other finds its fulfillment in the two “becoming one flesh.”
1628 The consent must be an act of the will of each of the contracting parties, free of coercion or grave external fear. No human power can substitute for this consent. If this freedom is lacking the marriage is invalid.
1630 The priest (or deacon) who assists at the celebration of a marriage receives the consent of the spouses in the name of the Church and gives the blessing of the Church. The presence of the Church’s minister (and also of the witnesses) visibly expresses the fact that marriage is an ecclesial reality.
1631 This is the reason why the Church normally requires that the faithful contract marriage according to the ecclesiastical form.
And briefly, that “canonical form” means the marriage should take place in the parish Church, in the presence of the pastor, with at least two witnesses, the “best man” and the “maid of honor.” You need at least five persons present for a Catholic marriage in most cases.
Several reasons converge to explain this requirement:
– Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. It is therefore appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church;
– Marriage introduces one into an ecclesial order, and creates rights and duties in the Church between the spouses and towards their children; – Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses);
– the public character of the consent protects the “I do” once given and helps the spouses remain faithful to it.
1632 So that the “I do” of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance.
The example and teaching given by parents and families remain the special form of this preparation.
The role of pastors and of the Christian community as the “family of God” is indispensable for the transmission of the human and Christian values of marriage and family, and much more so in our era when many young people experience broken homes which no longer sufficiently assure this initiation:
It is imperative to give suitable and timely instruction to young people, above all in the heart of their own families, about the dignity of married love, its role and its exercise, so that, having learned the value of chastity, they will be able at a suitable age to engage in honorable courtship and enter upon a marriage of their own.
So tune in every day of Lent to learn more about your Catholic faith, because if you Learn it, then you can Live it; and if you Live it, you will Love it; and if you Love it, you will never Leave it!
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