Lesson 39
A City With A Zero Percent Divorce Rate?
Welcome back to our Lenten Lessons on the Sacraments. Today I’d like to tell you a little bit about the wedding ceremony and then tomorrow we will finish with my time-proven recommendations for a successful and happy marriage all contained in my book, “Marriage Insurance: Twelve Rules to Live by.”
Once a young couple gets engaged, the first thing they should do is go to their parish and ask the pastor of the parish to marry them. He will then encourage them to enroll in a marriage preparation course (usually called “pre-Cana”), and then pick a date when the Church is available, usually on a Saturday. The Church prefers the engagement period to be six months or so, but more than one year out is not helpful.
Once the date is selected, the Marriage Coordinator will work with the couple to help them select music, prayers, readings and other possibilities for the wedding. It is a common misunderstanding in Church weddings when the couple think it is “their marriage”, when it is not. It’s the Church Wedding Ceremony, while it is the couple’s marriage. So there are some things that have to be done and others things that cannot be done because they would be out of place. The couple needs to follow what the Church has prescribed, especially for the validity of the marriage vows.
Before the Wedding, the couple is required to fill out a pre-nuptial questionnaire, testifying to their freedom and their understanding of the marital obligations, and giving proof of their baptism and confirmation. Sometimes, if they are not already well known to the pastor, they will need to submit affidavits testifying to the fact they that are free to marry and have not already been married previously.
The couple should have two witnesses, Best Man and Maid of Honor, who testify to the marriage. A valid marriage following the Catholic “canonical form” needs at least five people present: the bride, the groom, the best man, the maid of honor, and the priest. All the rest is extra, even if very nice.
During the Nuptial Mass there is no Penitential Rite, but the Mass begins with the singing of the Gloria. After the Gospel and a short homily, the bride and groom are asked several questions about their intentions: are they free to marry, will they love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives, and will they be open to children and raise them in the Catholic faith, because Marriage – after all – is about family, and children are one of the blessings of marital love.
After the Marital consent, weddings rings are exchanged, while in wedding ceremonies with special ethnic traditions, other optional rites can take place, such as the unity candle, or the lasso, or “las ranas”.
Something we should all consider is the local and beautiful practice of Catholic weddings in the rural European town of Siroki Brijeg, a town of 30,000 with 13,000 Catholics. According to a Google Search on this topic with results from “Generative AI” we read:
Siroki Brijeg, a city in Bosnia-Herzegovina, is known for having a zero-percent divorce rate:
Here are some reasons why Siroki Brijeg is considered a divorce-free city:
Marriage vows
Couples take their marriage vows over a crucifix and keep it above their bed.
Family prayer
The cross is a focal point of family prayer, and couples seek help from it when they have conflicts.
Family values
Couples teach their children to kiss the cross every day and to thank Jesus before going to sleep.
Isn’t that something? Maybe that should be part of every Catholic wedding?
And so I will close with a little story about my parents. Above the bed in their bedroom was a silver cross, without the body of the crucified Jesus, but in his place two silver rings connected to each other and attached to the cross where the crossbeams matched. Knowing that my parents were not big fans of modern art, I asked my mother: “What’s that?” She smiled and said, “That’s marriage. Two people united on the Cross.” I did not ask anything more. I knew it was a mystery, profound, private, but also the source of inexplicable joy in our household. And that helps me now as a priest.
So tune in every day of Lent to learn more about your Catholic faith, because if you Learn it, then you can Live it; and if you Live it, you will Love it; and if you Love it, you will never Leave it!
Please feel free to share these lessons with your friends and family, and let them know that it’s easy to sign up to receive these free daily emails. Be assured of my prayers for a fruitful Lenten season!
