If you’ve ever sent a text, meant it to be NBD, and suddenly found yourself in a heated battle, you are so not alone. 😅 On this episode of Marriage Unhindered, therapist dream team Doug and his daughter Monica Hinderer take a call from Mary, a wife of 33 years, who’s just trying to go camping… without emotional landmines. 🚐
The Conflict: Trailer Trouble & Radio Silence
Mary shared a pic of their busted trailer floor in the family group chat. Her husband totally lost it. 🙈 He shut down, started name-calling, and hasn’t spoken to her in five hours. Doug and Monica help Mary (and us!) break it down:
💢 His likely triggers:
-Disrespect (He felt like she should’ve checked with him first.)
-Failure (That photo made him feel like a bad handyman in front of the whole family.)
Doug explains that men can be super sensitive about these two things, and this little moment was a perfect storm. ⛈️
Monica’s Advice: Don’t Chase, Don’t Explode
Monica gives calm, Christ-centered advice for conflict repair:
✅ Let him cool off. (Stonewalling means he is trying to self-soothe, even if it’s immature.)
✅ When things calm down, say something like:
“I’m sorry for upsetting you. That wasn’t my intention. I’d like to talk when you’re ready.”
✅ When he’s open, gently ask:
“Help me understand what triggered you, because I didn’t see it the same way.”
But also: Don’t ignore his bad behavior.
“Swearing and name-calling aren’t okay. That hurt me.”
It’s about growing together. 🙌
💡Doug’s Take: Conflict = Opportunity
Doug shares this gem 💎:
“Conflicts are great chances to learn how to love your spouse better… and for them to learn to love you better.”
Let’s be honest: every married couple has their weird, recurring conflict patterns (read: landmines you keep stepping on 🙃). The trick is learning from them… not just surviving them.
The final advice:
➡️ Start with humility.
➡️ Be curious, not accusatory.
➡️ Keep boundaries around disrespect.
💕 Your Takeaway:
If your spouse overreacts… don’t retaliate. Slow down. Breathe. Ask questions. Apologize if needed, but don’t excuse sin or verbal abuse.
Marriage = sanctifying chaos with sacraments. 😂💒
You can listen to the whole hour with Doug and Monica Hinderer here!
The best way to listen to the Best of the Week is on our #1 Free Catholic App. It’s free and always will be! To get and share the Relevant Radio app, check it out here.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS