If you’re knee-deep in Legos, juice boxes, and yet another sibling argument, then this episode of Marriage Unhindered with Doug Hinderer and his therapist daughter Monica is for you. They’re talking about something every Catholic parent might wrestle with: 👉 What’s the difference between punishment and discipline? And why does it matter? Be sure to catch the entire conversation!
🔥 The Big Takeaway: Discipline is not the same as punishment. The two lead to very different outcomes in your child’s heart and brain.
👊 Real Talk:
Yes, punishment can stop bad behavior in the moment. But discipline shapes the soul. As Catholic parents, that’s the mission, right?
You’re not just managing tantrums.
You’re forming a child of God. 🙏💒
📚Discipline is About Teaching:
-Builds the brain 🧠
-Teaches cause & effect 🤔
-Develops self-control and critical thinking 💭
-Forms virtues like empathy, respect, and responsibility
Think of it as forming your child for heaven and adulthood. 🙌
🚫 Punishment is About Penalizing:
-Uses fear to get quick results 😬
-Might stop bad behavior in the moment but doesn’t teach why it was wrong 😓
-Can cause emotional harm, anxiety, and brain changes that hurt long-term growth 😕
🧠 Brain Science Bonus
Punishment triggers the “fight or flight” response in kids. That means the learning part of the brain shuts off and survival mode kicks in. So… they’re not actually learning.
Meanwhile, discipline builds executive function — that magical brain power that helps them:
-Solve problems
-Make good choices
-Resist the urge to throw a toy across the room 🧸🚫
👀 So What Should We Do Instead?
✅ Focus on consistent, supportive discipline
✅ Allow natural consequences to play out
✅ Model the behavior you want to see
✅ Remind yourself: We’re not raising kids. We’re raising future saints.
Doug says it best:
“When your kid is 25, what kind of adult do you want them to be?”
Don’t just aim for obedience. Aim for virtue. ❤️
Discipline with love and keep the end game in mind: a kind, confident adult who loves Jesus. 💛
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