On the latest episode of Marriage Unhindered, Catholic marriage and family therapist Doug Hinderer reflected on Pope Leo XIV’s recent audience on forgiveness. The Pope’s words, centered on the Last Supper, offer profound guidance not only for the life of the Church but also for husbands and wives striving to live their vocation faithfully.
Pope Leo reminded the faithful of a striking Gospel scene: at table with His betrayer, Christ extended to Judas a morsel of food. The Holy Father described this as love’s last attempt, a reaching out that refused to give up even in the face of betrayal. This small gesture carried immense meaning, revealing the depth of God’s love and His willingness to go further than human strength alone can go.
The Pope also offered a teaching that speaks directly to daily married life. Forgiveness, he said, does not wait for repentance but is first offered as a gift. Doug noted that this insight challenges one of the most common struggles in marriage. Many spouses instinctively think, “I’ll forgive when my husband or wife apologizes.” Yet Pope Leo insists that forgiveness is not conditioned on the other’s words or actions. Instead, it is an act of freedom that liberates the one who forgives, even if the wrong remains unacknowledged.
The Holy Father clarified that forgiveness does not mean pretending evil never occurred. Rather, it prevents sin from producing further damage. Doug explained that this is exactly what happens when resentment festers in a marriage. If betrayal, neglect, or indifference is met with hardened silence, bitterness grows and begins to govern the future. Forgiveness interrupts that cycle and keeps love alive, even in difficult seasons.
Reflecting again on Judas, Pope Leo pointed out that after receiving the morsel of food, Satan entered him. Yet even in that moment of tragic rejection, God was still reaching out. Doug drew the parallel to marital life: when a spouse feels unreachable or unwilling to change, the grace of God can still enter the situation through the other’s act of mercy. A humble step of forgiveness, offered in faith, becomes a channel of grace that can soften even the hardest of hearts.
The Pope lamented how many relationships break down, how many stories become complicated, and how many words remain unspoken. And yet, he said, the Gospel teaches us there is always a way to continue to love, even when things appear beyond repair. Doug encouraged listeners who feel trapped in loveless or painful marriages to take these words seriously. Love does not end simply because difficulties arise; it can be rekindled through forgiveness and trust in God.
Finally, Pope Leo insisted that forgiveness is not weakness. It does not erase wounds or demand forgetfulness. It is, instead, the strength to set another free by loving to the very end. Evil does not get the last word when forgiveness is chosen. Doug underscored this point by reminding couples that in marriage, every act of forgiveness is a small participation in Christ’s own victory over sin.
The lesson is clear: forgiveness does not excuse betrayal or diminish pain, but it prevents sin from dictating the future. In marriage, as in the Gospel, even the darkest betrayals can be transformed into an opportunity for salvation.