What if happiness wasn’t about luck, wealth, or perfect circumstances – but about habits you choose every day? That’s exactly what the longest-running scientific study on happiness reveals.
On Marriage Unhindered, Doug Hinderer shares insights from Harvard professor Arthur Brooks, who teaches a popular “Happiness” course at Harvard Business School and regularly writes on the science of joy. The Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked thousands of lives since 1938, making it the world’s longest happiness study. After more than 85 years of data, researchers discovered seven habits that strongly predict a long and happy life.
So, what are these seven keys – and how do they affect your marriage, faith, and health?
1. Don’t Smoke
It sounds simple, but smoking consistently shows up as one of the strongest predictors of unhappiness and poor health. People who quit – even later in life – significantly improve both lifespan and quality of life.
2. Watch Your Drinking
Alcohol abuse is linked not only to poor health but also to broken relationships. Doug explains that studies show 25–50% of domestic violence cases involve alcohol. Heavy drinking also increases depression, anxiety, and marital conflict. Moderation – or abstinence if alcohol is a trigger – protects both your health and your home.
3. Maintain a Healthy Weight
Obesity raises the risk of depression by over 50% compared to people with healthy weight. It also affects memory, confidence, and social connections. Small, steady habits like balanced meals and portion control make a lasting difference.
4. Prioritize Daily Movement
Walking may be the single most underrated happiness habit. Exercise boosts endorphins, lowers stress hormones, improves sleep, and even helps with mild to moderate depression. For couples, Doug explains that walking together strengthens connection: side by side, moving in the same direction, conversations often come easier.
5. Build Strong Coping Skills
Life throws curveballs, but how you respond shapes your long-term happiness. Harvard researchers found that people who develop resilience early – through prayer, therapy, or healthy reflection – handle stress better decades later. Practical ways to build coping strength include reframing challenges, journaling, practicing mindfulness, and turning to faith in prayer and the sacraments.
6. Keep Learning
Education isn’t just for young people. Lifelong learners maintain sharper minds, lower rates of dementia, and stronger purpose. Even setting aside 10–15 minutes a day for spiritual reading can feed both the mind and the soul.
7. Cultivate Stable Relationships
Here lies the greatest secret of all: the number one predictor of happiness is healthy, long-term relationships. Whether in marriage, family, or friendship, strong bonds keep people healthier and happier well into their 70s, 80s, and beyond.
Practical tips include:
-Reach out first – don’t wait for others.
-Show up during both celebrations and struggles.
-Invest daily in your spouse with intentional time.
-Listen without judgment.
-Pray with and for the people you love.
As Harvard researcher Dr. Robert Waldinger summarized: “Well-being can be built, and the best building blocks are good, warm friendships.”
The Marriage Connection
For couples, these seven habits about building a joyful marriage. From walking together to praying together, each step strengthens intimacy and lays the groundwork for a life of shared happiness.
Final Takeaway
Happiness doesn’t come from chasing status or wealth. It comes from the daily choices you make – choices that protect your body, nurture your mind, and invest in your relationships.
If you want to be happy later on in your life, start today: quit smoking, limit alcohol, move your body, build resilience, keep learning, and above all – love the people God has placed in your life.
Be sure to listen to the entire episode here!
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