Doug Hinderer and his daughter, licensed therapist Monica, unpack a new piece by Dr. Leonard Sax for the Institute for Family Studies. Sax’s takeaway is simple and strong: if you want your child to thrive later, focus less on GPA and popularity, and more on honesty and self-control – together called conscientiousness. Long-running studies show conscientious kids grow into adults with better health, stronger marriages, and steadier incomes.
Dr. Sax also warns about a recent drop in conscientiousness among young Americans. Data from the Understanding America Study shows fewer young people can “make plans and follow through,” while more report feeling distracted and careless. That is a real shift within roughly a decade.
Doug and Monica agree that phones and streaming add friction, but they don’t excuse dishonesty. Parents still serve as the first teachers of virtue. The show then turns very practical: define honesty, train self-control, and use the sacramental life to shape the heart.
Catholic Framing: Honesty and Temperance
The Eighth Commandment calls us to truth in word, deed, and intention. The fruits of the Holy Spirit include self-control, which the Catechism links with temperance and lifelong self-mastery. Confession forms the conscience and restores integrity when we fall.
What to Do This Week: A Parent’s Playbook
1) Model honesty in small things
Children watch more than they listen. Keep your word. Admit mistakes. Don’t tell white lies. These tiny scripts teach that truth matters even when it costs a little comfort. Doug recommends posting your family’s mission and values on the fridge: “In our home, we tell the truth and we make things right.”
2) Teach why truth heals
Make it explicit: “Truth shows respect for God and for others.” Praise a child who owns a mess before fixing it. When a lie surfaces, slow the moment down. Let the consequence stand – yet affirm the courage it took to confess. Tie the repair to restitution: replace, apologize, or serve. This links honesty to action, which cements the virtue.
3) Build self-control with tiny waits
Self-control is learned. Doug recommends starting with two-minute waits before a snack. Stretch to five minutes with a prayer intention for a sibling or classmate. Monica notes that the Church gives parents a ready-made gym for the will: fasting on appointed days. Train the “no,” so the heart can say stronger “yeses” later.
4) Keep confession a regular practice
When a child lies, accompany them to Jesus. A quiet visit to the confessional teaches that truth, grace, and new starts live together. That rhythm builds integrity and lowers shame.
Sample Scripts You Can Use Tonight
-Name the value: “Smiths tell the truth. If we break something, we say it, and we fix it.”
-Praise the process: “Thank you for telling me before I found out. That was brave. Here is the consequence, and here is how we make it right.”
-Train the wait: “Timer for three minutes, then snack. Let’s offer the wait for Grandpa’s doctor visit.”
-Phone boundary: “Phones sleep in the kitchen. Yours charges here at 8:30. Mine does too.”
-Confession cue: “We will both go on Saturday. God loves truth from the heart. We will start fresh.”
Final Word to Catholic Parents
You cannot control every force in the culture. You can shape the habits of truth and the muscles of restraint under your roof. Keep words close to actions. Keep rules close to love. Keep the sacraments close to daily life. Do that, and you set your child up for success that the world cannot counterfeit.
The best way to listen to the Best of the Week is on our #1 Free Catholic App. It’s free and always will be! To get and share the Relevant Radio app, check it out here.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS