Have you ever found yourself focusing on your spouse’s defects? Doug discusses the dog biscuit theory of marriage and shares how to drive out the negativity in a relationship by focusing on what positive behaviors your spouse possesses.
Listener questions and comments:
- Janet – I have a 30-year-old son who is trying to marry. He had a problem with alcohol and he met somebody who works at a bar and this girl is posting revealing photos on her Instagram. What should I do? (38:27)
- Julie – You are totally right about forgiveness. I was cheated on and found videos of it. I went to counseling thinking I was the problem only to find out it was him. It was only after talking with God that I was able to forgive my ex-husband for what he had done. (42:04)
Steps to turning from the negative to the positive
- Catch the negative thought
- Make a different choice
- Rewrite the story
- Reward yourself
3 steps to putting the Dog Biscuit Theory into practice
- Beware of fault finding and criticism
- Look for what’s right
- Reward that behavior
- Repeat
Action steps
- Share appreciations
- Say please and thank you
- Make small gestures
- Cultivate moments of kindness
- Rewrite the story
- Be kind
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