Fear crawls in quietly. A sudden headache spirals into thoughts of a brain bleed. A chest flutter becomes a heart-attack alarm. A strange noise in traffic, and suddenly you imagine catastrophic endings. Lauren’s email to Patrick Conley and Fr. Matthew Spencer on The Inner Life captured what so many Catholics carry silently: How do I live without being consumed by fear of death, tragedy, or suffering?
Father Matthew didn’t dismiss these fears. Instead, he named them. Some fears are natural. Others swell beyond reason and need the healing perspective of a counselor or spiritual guide. But at the heart of the struggle lies something deeper: the unknown.
He reminded listeners that followers of Jesus will suffer. Not because God delights in it, but because suffering, when united to Christ, becomes strangely meaningful. He described moments in his own life, unexpected crosses that later revealed mercy, sympathy, and a softened heart. Suffering, he said, can train the soul to let go of the illusion that life must always be free of pain.
And the way to endure it? Calmly. Slowly. One moment at a time.
Patrick Conley added the striking image that hovered over their whole conversation: Christ in Gethsemane. He did not shrug off suffering. He sweat blood in agony. He asked the Father to let the cup pass. But His anchor was trust: “Not my will, but yours be done.”
A “happy death,” Father Matthew noted, emerges from that same surrender. Not from pretending we are fearless, but from offering even our uncertainty to Jesus. Even the dread. Even the anguish. And there, in the quiet surrender, Christ stays with us.
That’s where fear loses its sting—and where peace finally begins.
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