What does it look like to love a man who carries both strength and sorrow?
On Marriage Unhindered, Angel from Pittsburgh shared her story. Having spent much of her life supporting military men, she understands sacrifice, discipline, and the unseen weight of service. Now, as she prepares to marry a retiring major general, a “very holy man,” she says, she’s learning that even the strongest leaders have tender places.
Her fiancé, orphaned at a young age and raised by his Augustinian priest uncle, has devoted his life to his country and to the men under his command. But the burden of having lost soldiers under his command imposes a great weight. When he feels the grief of those losses, he withdraws. He weeps. And Angel finds herself unsure how to help.
Doug’s guest, Dr. Bobby Jacks, offered a powerful reframe. Instead of seeing his tears as something to fix, she invited Angel to see them as a sign of trust.
“It doesn’t sound like he’s hiding them from you. That’s actually a really good sign,” Dr. Jacks said.
So often, spouses want to solve pain. But love is not always about solutions. “We always want to solve the problem,” she explained. “And I wonder if it’s more maybe about being present.”
Doug Hinderer agreed. The general’s vulnerability, he said, reveals “how much he loves you and how much he trusts you that he will let you see him in his absolute most vulnerable place.”
Grief and love are often two sides of the same coin. “When something matters so much to us, when we love it so deeply, we’re gonna feel pain,” Dr. Jacks reflected.
For Angel, supporting another military man means something new this time: not standing at attention, but sitting beside him. Not fixing, but holding. Not fearing his sorrow, but honoring the size of his heart.
The best way to listen to the Best of the Week is on our #1 Free Catholic App. It’s free, and always will be! To get and share the Relevant Radio app, check it out here.