On Marriage Unhindered, Doug Hinderer unpacks Pope Leo’s recent audience on forgiveness and shows how the Pope’s teaching speaks directly to husbands and wives. You can listen to the entire episode here.
Pope Leo recalled one of the most striking moments in the Gospels: during the Last Supper, Jesus extended a morsel of food to Judas. The Pope called this act “love’s last attempt not to give up… to love until the end.”
Pope Leo went further, teaching that “true forgiveness does not await repentance, but offers itself first as a free gift, even before it is accepted.” Doug applies this to marriage, pointing out how easy it is for spouses to withhold forgiveness until the other apologizes. Many think, “I’ll forgive when they say they’re sorry,” but as Doug emphasized, Pope Leo calls us to forgive even when the wrong is not acknowledged, because forgiveness frees the one who gives it.
The Pope also taught that “to forgive does not mean to deny evil, but to prevent it from generating further evil.” Doug explains that this is exactly what happens in marriages when resentment takes over. If a spouse has hurt us, whether through infidelity, neglect, or indifference, refusing to forgive allows anger and bitterness to dictate the future.
At one point Pope Leo reflected on Judas’ betrayal: “After Judas took the morsel, Satan entered him… and yet God does everything, absolutely everything, to reach us, even in the hour when we reject Him.” Doug notes how this truth applies to marriage: even when our spouse seems unreachable, God’s grace can still shine through a humble gesture of love and forgiveness.
The Pope added: “How many relationships are broken, how many stories become complicated, how many unspoken words remain suspended! And yet the Gospel shows us that there is always a way to continue to love, even when everything seems irredeemably compromised.” Doug encourages you to let these words sink in, especially if you feel stuck in a painful, loveless marriage.
Finally, Pope Leo taught that forgiveness is not weakness, nor is it ignoring pain. It is, he said, “the ability to set the other free while loving him to the end… It is not forgetfulness; it is not weakness. It does not allow evil to have the last word.” Doug drives home the point that in every marriage, choosing forgiveness prevents evil from multiplying and opens the door to peace.
As Pope Leo put it, even the darkest betrayals can become “an opportunity for salvation.”
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