When you first met your spouse, you probably felt a great amount of infatuation. This type of love doesn’t last constantly, though. Sometimes, a different kind of love is needed to get through the rough times in marriage.
Doug Hinderer spent some time telling you about the 4 kinds of love and how they are all important to a thriving marriage.
- Philia: Friendship as the Foundation
Philia represents the love found in deep friendship, characterized by shared interests and emotional safety. This form of love stresses the importance of having activities and discussions that both spouses enjoy, alongside the need for individual interests. The essence of Philia in marriage is the assurance that one can share their deepest thoughts and feelings with their partner, knowing their heart is safe and cherished. - Storge: Affectionate Love
Storge is described as a gentle, caring affection that manifests in the small, everyday actions that demonstrate kindness and consideration. It’s the accumulation of small gestures, such as expressing gratitude, performing acts of service, and showing politeness, that build a warm and nurturing environment. This love reminds you that the “little things” in a relationship are, in fact, quite significant. - Eros: Romantic and Physical Love
Eros refers to the passionate love that often initiates romantic relationships, characterized by physical attraction and desire. While it is a critical component of marriage, Doug points out that Eros alone is not enough for a lasting relationship. It serves as the spark but must be accompanied by the other forms of love to sustain a marriage through time. - Agape: Unconditional Love
Agape is perhaps the most challenging yet profound form of love, embodying selfless, sacrificial love that places the wellbeing of the partner above one’s own. It is unconditional, not dependent on the spouse’s actions or characteristics but on a committed decision to love them no matter what. This love is what couples vow to each other on their wedding day, aspiring to mirror the unconditional love exemplified by Christ.
Doug Hinderer emphasizes the critical nature of each type of love in creating a balanced and enduring marriage. He also suggests that engaging in open discussions about difficult topics can strengthen a couple’s commitment to each other and to the permanence, exclusivity, public declaration, and fruitfulness of their love.
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