In this episode of Marriage Unhindered, Doug Hinderer sits down with Jodee Blanco, an anti-bullying advocate with an incredibly personal story to share. They explore how the wounds from childhood bullying can sneak into your marriage—and it’s honestly something we don’t talk about enough. 😳 By the way, you can get the whole episode here!
Jodee, who went through years of being bullied from 5th grade through high school, opens up about how that trauma affected her own relationships. It’s not just about the bullying you’d expect—she talks about a kind of pain that comes from being invisible. You know, when you’re ignored, left out, or just not seen. That feeling of being invisible doesn’t disappear once you grow up. It can stick with you, making it harder to feel truly connected in your adult relationships. Can you imagine being married, but still feeling like you’re not good enough to be loved? 💔
Jodee’s own story is both super relatable and really touching. She actually ended up marrying someone she reconnected with at her high school reunion—someone who was part of that cool crowd back in the day. Here’s the thing: unresolved bullying trauma from both sides (hers from school, his from family) slowly crept into their marriage. She admits she was constantly trying too hard to prove she was worthy of love, just like she did back in school. That didn’t help; it actually drove a wedge between them.
One of the most eye-opening things Jodee shares is how that “invisible” feeling from childhood can make you suspicious of your spouse’s love. Even when they are showing you love, you might not trust it because deep down, you don’t feel like you deserve it. 😳 Imagine living with that constant anxiety in your marriage!
Doug and Jodee also hit on this idea of “FOMO” (Fear of Missing Out), but in a way that’s much more intense than just social media. If you felt left out or excluded as a kid, that fear can easily show up in your marriage, making it hard to fully trust your spouse. That can seriously mess with your relationship. Here’s the good news: Jodee is proof that healing is possible. 🌟
She talks about how therapy helped her stop being afraid of spending time alone. In the past, if she wasn’t with her partner on a Saturday night, she’d spiral into that same panic she felt in school, thinking, “What’s wrong with me?” Now? She enjoys her alone time, whether she’s watching a movie or just relaxing. 🍿 That’s such a huge win for anyone who’s struggled with feeling unworthy or invisible.
Jodee’s message to anyone listening is clear: if you’ve been through bullying, whether at school or even at home, and you’re noticing that it’s affecting your marriage or other relationships, get help. Therapy can make such a difference. Don’t just carry those old wounds with you—find someone who gets that bullying is serious trauma and work through it.
At the end of the day, this episode is a reminder that the stuff we go through as kids doesn’t just disappear. It follows us into adulthood and can mess with our marriages unless we deal with it. So, if you’re feeling unseen, unheard, or like those old hurts are creeping into your relationship, Jodee’s story is living proof that you can heal and break that cycle.
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