Ah, the seasonal chaos, right? It can be a lot to handle. It might even take a toll on your marriage.
Doug Hinderer gives you the scoop from the Gottman Institute on how tostress-proof your relationship so you and your spouse can focus on joy, peace, and… oh yeah: Jesus, thereal reason for the season. Check out the whole hour!
Takeaways for a Stress-Proof Christmas Marriage
Team Up Against the Holiday Madness
Christmas Chaos Reality Check: All the shopping, cleaning, hosting, and decorating? Stress city. But Doug Hinderer points out this stress isn’t God’s plan: it’s the devil sowing discord. Your mission?Become a united team and crush that chaos. 🙌
Make a Plan: Sit down with your spouse, list out every task, and assign responsibilities. Use three columns: “You,” “Me,” and “Us.” Don’t forget to include time for spiritual preparation like lighting the Advent wreath or praying together. 🙏
Balance, Don’t Keep Score
Avoid the Trap: Trying to split everything “perfectly” leads to resentment. Instead, aim for balanced responsibilities that feel fair to both of you.
Support Over Scorekeeping: Be ready to adjust if your spouse feels overwhelmed. Pick up the slack, not the grudges.
Check In Daily
Take 10–15 minutes each day toinvest in your marriage. Ask your spouse how they’re doing, without trying to fix everything. Listen, make eye contact, and empathize. 👂👀💖
💡 Practical Tips for a Peaceful Christmas
Stress-Reducing Conversations
Share what’s bothering you about lifeoutside the marriage. (No “you didn’t load the dishwasher right” arguments here!)
Practiceactive listening: Ask open-ended questions, make eye contact, and express empathy. Example: “That must feel really hard. What can I do to support you?”
Show Gratitude Daily
Compliments and “thank-yous” go a long way. Notice the small stuff: like wrapping gifts or taking out the trash and say it out loud. Bonus points for leaving sweet notes. 📝💕
Limit Fix-It Mode (Especially for Husbands)
Spouses often just want to be heard: not given solutions. Fight the urge to solve every problem and instead focus on validating their feelings.
Prioritize Prayer and Peace
Protect time for spiritual preparation. Whether it’s an Advent wreath, Scripture reading, or just quiet time to reflect,don’t let the busyness crowd out Jesus.
🎁Your Marriage Matters More Than the Perfect Holiday
Doug reminds you: Christmas will pass, but your marriage is for keeps. Make this season aboutconnection, joy, and shared faith, not just surviving the stress.
Advent Challenge: Say one specific thank-you to your spouse every day. It’s a small habit that builds big love. ❤️✨
💡 Feeling overwhelmed? Start small. Light the Advent wreath tonight, pray together, and remember: God is with you!
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