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Marriage is beautiful, but let’s be real: it can also be HARD. Like, “Wait, why did no one warn me about this?” kind of hard. That’s exactly what Doug Hinderer talks about in this episode of Marriage Unhindered, alongside the powerhouse couple Jim and Maureen Otremba. With over 27 years of marriage experience (plus Jim’s therapist creds and Maureen’s deep background in faith formation), these two have some serious wisdom about what to do when marriage feels like a struggle.
Key Takeaways:
1️⃣ You Will Struggle… And That’s Normal
Marriage isn’t always sunshine and roses. Life happens, and our lovely fallen human nature doesn’t help. Challenges will come: some small, some that feel never-ending. But the good news? You’re not alone, and God has a plan for your marriage. 🌟
2️⃣ Colossians 3: The Marriage Survival Guide 📖
Jim and Maureen remind you of this powerhouse Bible verse:
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
3️⃣ Validation Before Fixing 🛠️
One of the biggest marriage game-changers? Validate before you fix. 👏
Instead of jumping in with solutions, first acknowledge your spouse’s feelings.
“I’m sorry you’re hurting. Want to tell me more about that?” = Gold.
“Well, here’s what you should do…” = 🚨 Marriage hazard zone.
When you validate first, your spouse feels heard, understood, and loved. Fixing can come later… if it’s even needed.
4️⃣ Compassion = Suffering With Your Spouse 💕
The Latin root of compassion literally means “to suffer with.” Your spouse’s struggles aren’t just theirs; they’re yours too. Instead of thinking, “Ugh, this is making my life harder,” shift your mindset to, “How can I support my spouse through this?”
Yes, it’s a tough lift sometimes (hello, exhaustion), but that’s where grace comes in.
5️⃣ When in Doubt, Run to the Eucharist 🏃♂️✝️
Jim and Maureen mention Eucharistic Adoration as a marriage lifeline. Feeling disconnected? Fighting? Struggling with infertility (like one caller, Matthew, shared)? Drop everything and sit with Jesus. He’s waiting, ready to love you into peace.
Final Thought: You’re Chosen & Beloved 💙
If you take one thing from this episode, let it be this:
✅ You are chosen.
✅ You are beloved.
✅ God loves you infinitely, even when you mess up.
And that spouse of yours? God loves them just as much. Your mission: Love them with that kind of compassion, patience, and gentleness. (Easier said than done? Yep. Worth it? 100%.)
Need a reset? Go home today, look your spouse in the eye, and tell them:
“You are holy and beloved.”
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