Doug Hinderer just flipped the script on Marriage Unhindered and let you play therapist. 🛋️💬 We got two case studies on marriage struggles, and callers weighed in with their takes.
You can check out the whole podcast here!
(Note that this program/episode is not meant to take the place of real therapy. The information provided is meant to be helpful advice for you and your spouse to pray about and consider with an individual marriage counselor.)
Let’s break it down:
Case #1: “I Love My Wife… But I’m Unhappy” 😬💔
The Situation:
-Newlyweds (23 years old, married under a year)
-Fought on their honeymoon (yikes), even slept apart at least one night
-Every argument = husband is somehow in the wrong
-He’s exhausted, disconnected, and questioning their future
Therapist Mode Activated: 💡
Doug and the callers pointed out a few things:
-Was this a pattern before marriage? (Red flag alert 🚩)
The wife seems stuck in a cycle of negativity and blame. But why? Could be:
-Attention-seeking
-Habitual negativity
-Unresolved issues from outside the marriage
-Just plain selfishness
Husband needs to ask: “Hey, we both seem unhappy. What can we change together?”
💡Pro tip from a caller: At the end of each day, write down 3 things your spouse did well to rewire your brain toward gratitude. (Love this!)
Case #2: “My Husband Doesn’t Contribute Financially & I’m Resentful” 🏡💰
The Situation:
-Married 15 years, mid-30s, have a toddler
-Husband has a history of job-hopping & unemployment
-Recently started a business (but isn’t making real money)
-Wife is shouldering all financial burdens & feeling resentful
-Doesn’t want to separate, but also doesn’t want to be the sole provider forever
Therapist Mode Activated: 💡
Doug’s analysis?
Why is he struggling to hold a job? Possible reasons:
-Immaturity / lack of responsibility
-Low self-esteem (avoiding failure by not trying)
-Straight-up laziness
Wife needs to set a clear expectation:
-“I need you to bring in [$X] per month. Figure out how.”
-If the business is slow, get a side job (flipping burgers if necessary!)
-No more excuses! 🚫
💡 Caller insight: Maybe her discontent is partly about comparing their life to others. Could shifting perspective help? (Not ignoring the money issue, but interesting point! 🤔)
Doug’s Big Takeaway:
-For the Husband in Case #1: Don’t just shut down. Ask your wife what would make both of you happy again. 💙
-For the Wife in Case #2: You may have married a guy who will never be the breadwinner. Can you embrace that reality without resentment?
🔥 Hard truths, but real talk. What do you think? Would you handle these cases differently? Let’s hear it! 😬
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