Alright, folks, grab a cup of coffee (or a stress ball… your call), because Doug Hinderer just recorded an episode of Marriage Unhindered that every Catholic parent needs to hear. He sits down with the brilliant Dr. Johann D’Souza to tackle a massive problem: anxiety in kids and teens.

The Anxiety Epidemic: What’s Going On?

Doug kicks things off with some shocking stats:

30% of kids aged 12-17 struggle with anxiety.

1 in 5 kids has experienced anxiety symptoms in the past two weeks.

Thanks to smartphones and social media (especially doom scrolling), anxiety has skyrocketed since 2010.

COVID? Yeah, that made everything worse.

Doug adds that young people used to be the happiest age group (makes sense, right? No bills, no mortgage, unlimited snacks). But today, that statistic has flipped: young people are now the most anxious. That anxiety is making it harder for them to “launch” into adulthood (you know, getting jobs, moving out, being independent, etc.). Instead, we’ve got a generation of young men who don’t believe in themselves.

The Good News: Parents Can Reverse Anxiety in Their Kids!

Here’s the big takeaway: Parents play a HUGE role in healing their child’s anxiety. Dr. D’Souza shares a groundbreaking treatment from Yale’s Child Study Center, developed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz, that helps kids overcome anxiety without even treating the kid directly; it works by changing the parents’ behavior.

The Two Keys to Reducing Anxiety in Your Child

Dr. D’Souza explains:

Stop Accommodating Anxiety (AKA, Don’t Be a Zamboni Parent)

Parents, listen up! The #1 mistake? Accommodating your kid’s anxiety.
Examples of accommodations:

Calling their teacher to ask about homework instead of making them do it themselves

Letting them skip school because they’re anxious

Constantly reassuring them: “It’s okay, you’re fine, you can do this!” (This actually weakens their confidence.)

Doug calls this “Zamboni parenting”: where parents smooth out every obstacle in front of their kids so they never have to struggle. Guess what? Struggle is GOOD! Failing young helps kids realize failure isn’t the end of the world.

Start Using Supportive Statements (Empathy + Confidence)

Instead of accommodating, parents need to switch to supportive statements, which follow a simple two-part formula:

Empathy: “I see this is difficult for you.”

Confidence: “I believe you can do it.”

That’s it. No long-winded pep talks, no rescuing: just acknowledging their struggle while reinforcing that they can handle it.

Real Talk: OCD, Scrupulosity, and Catholic Kids

A caller named Virginia (mom of seven!) called in about her 14-year-old daughter who washes her hands obsessively and refuses to go to confession because she’s afraid she’s “not sorry enough.” This sounds like OCD.

Dr. D’Souza explains that OCD is a type of anxiety disorder and that scrupulosity: excessive fear of sinning or not confessing properly… is a classic symptom. He strongly recommends finding a therapist who specializes in OCD and aligns with Catholic values because treatment involves facing fears, and we don’t want a therapist dismissing actual Catholic doctrine.

Final Thoughts: Be the Parent Your Anxious Kid Needs

Parents CAN help their anxious kids, and the best way to do it is by stopping the accommodations and boosting their confidence.

So, parents: Step back, let your kid struggle, and trust that they’re stronger than they think. It might just be the best gift you ever give them.

 

 

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