Here’s the lowdown from this episode of Marriage Unhindered with Doug Hinderer, where he lays out 13 practical, no-nonsense ways to build trust in marriage. (Author credited in audio) You can listen to the entire episode here.
Trust isn’t all-or-nothing—it exists in degrees. A couple might trust each other in some areas (like handling finances) but struggle in others (like emotional openness). The goal is to strengthen trust across the board.
13 Ways to Build (or Rebuild) Trust in Marriage
✅ 1. Be honest
Lies—even “small” ones—erode trust fast. It’s better to share hard truths than to cover up mistakes. Lies almost always get discovered… and they hurt worse later.
✅ 2. Be reliable
Follow through on promises, big or small. Whether it’s picking up groceries, being present during a crisis, or simply listening—dependability lays the groundwork for deep trust.
✅ 3. Practice open communication
Speak up about needs and feelings. Assuming a spouse should know what’s going on inside is unfair—open the door and share what’s real.
✅ 4. Accept mistakes
Everyone messes up. Refusing to own mistakes creates distance; humility and apology pull hearts back together.
✅ 5. Maintain healthy privacy
Even the happiest couples need individual space. Time apart for personal hobbies or friendships helps prevent resentment.
✅ 6. Let go of jealousy
Past betrayals or insecurities don’t justify distrusting a faithful spouse. Trust must be offered—not endlessly earned—or it will never grow.
✅ 7. Keep marital secrets private
What’s shared in the marriage stays in the marriage. Telling friends or family about a spouse’s struggles or mistakes can cause lasting damage.
✅ 8. Be consistent
Show love, respect, and care every day. Don’t slack off after the wedding; keep pursuing, dating, and cherishing one another.
✅ 9. Keep promises
From the little stuff (“I’ll take out the trash”) to the big stuff (“I’m here for you no matter what”), keeping promises proves trustworthiness.
✅ 10. Show empathy
Before jumping to anger or defensiveness, pause. Try seeing things from the spouse’s perspective—it softens conflict and creates emotional safety.
✅ 11. Respect boundaries
Marriage doesn’t erase individuality. Respecting a spouse’s need for personal time or space honors their dignity.
✅ 12. Be supportive
Celebrate successes, stand by during struggles, and always be the loudest cheerleader. Nothing builds security like knowing someone is firmly in your corner.
✅ 13. Stay curious and engaged
Keep asking questions, stay interested, and remember the little details. Lifelong curiosity about each other keeps the relationship fresh and connected.
Final Point
Trust doesn’t magically happen; it’s built day by day, through consistent love, honesty, humility, and effort. Marriage thrives when both hearts are safe to open, knowing the other person has their best interest at heart.
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