Patrick Conley noticed a troubling pattern: “Couples, for whatever reason, aren’t choosing to get married anymore… at alarming rates.” He invited Fr. Peter Armenio onto The Inner Life to discuss what he’s seeing and why so many people don’t want to make the commitment.
Fr. Peter pointed first to “a lot of doctrinal ignorance,” explaining that facts don’t change people’s minds when cohabitation has been normalized. He said that in 90% of the marriages done in the Catholic Church, the couple was cohabitating beforehand, and that many couples who are cohabitating have no intention of getting married in the near future. In many families, he added, parents even approve: “‘Times have changed. They’re mature.'”
He also described “a crisis of commitment,” especially among men, and a culture where marriage is no longer seen as necessary for a lasting bond. “Marriage is not the price tag for those kinds of bonds,” he said, because people can get away with relationships with “no strings attached, no commitment.”
Fr. Peter didn’t shy away from the fallout. “My shoulders are metaphorically stained with women’s tears,” he said, describing women who feel rejected and “thrown in the garbage.” He also cited a “birth control mentality,” cultural change, “a pandemic of pornography,” and social media pressures as major symptoms in this anti-marriage generation.
Still, he ended with hope: “The good news is the young people are coming back.” And when people return to the Faith, they often embrace the teachings of the Church wholeheartedly. His bottom line was clear: “Discipleship is key for a successful marriage on both parts.”
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