Why is it so hard to find a good Catholic spouse?

Quite a few faithful Christians feel a strong call to married life but have not found the right person, even as they enter their late thirties, forties, or fifties. It can be discouraging, especially in a world that seems to have lost its moral compass, to try to find someone whose Faith and morals align with one’s own.

Many people are now turning to the internet to meet people. “It’s very hard to find … someone that is really into the Faith and will really help you live a strong Christian life. So what people have been doing is plugging into online dating services, which in the past seemed kind of weird, but now it’s amazing the number of people who are finding really good spouses through that,” says Fr. Thomas Morrow, author of Christian Dating in a Godless World.

Before Fr. Morrow entered the seminary at age 34, he experienced firsthand how difficult it can be to find a good Catholic spouse. “It was not easy; I felt like I was alone in pursuing this and no one else seemed to be pursuing it the same way. But I was happy in the fact that I was praying and I started to go to Mass everyday. That kind of filled me up and gave me peace. I would have been happy to get married if God wanted me to, but He made it clear to me that He didn’t; He wanted me to become a priest. Once I said yes to that, I’ve always been very happy.”

Part of the problem stems from the culture and the Christian faith having differing understandings about what love is. “There’s a lot of selfishness in the cultural understanding of love today, and it’s not the Christian love which is the concern for the beloved and active concern for the good of the beloved,” explains Fr. Morrow.

What can you do if you’ve been unsuccessful in your seemingly endless search for the right spouse? “When you’re single, you have more time than you’ll ever have in your whole life to serve the Lord and to get close to Him. I encourage young people … to consider starting to pray, at least praying the Rosary every day, making visits to the Blessed Sacrament, but also daily Mass and reading the saints,” says Fr. Morrow.

“If you’re totally plugged into the Lord through a life of prayer, sacraments, the Mass, and reading the saints, you won’t feel empty, you’re going to feel full!” Finding fulfillment in your spiritual life is a great place to start, and it may lead to finding the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with.