My Son and Daughter-in-law are using IVF. What should I do?

As a pro-life, faithful Catholic, Mary knows the Church’s teaching on in vitro fertilization. She was dismayed to learn from her son that he and his wife intended to use IVF to conceive a child. She called Father Simon Says for advice on how to respond to this news.

“The terrible thing I’ve been praying is that it doesn’t even work at all and that they could adopt. I’m engrained in life and I know what happens… I don’t know how to pray for this,” Mary lamented.

The two prayers that Fr. Richard Simon recommended to Mary are: “Thy will be done” and “Jesus, I trust in You.”

He reminded Mary that any grandchild she had—no matter how they were conceived—is a blessing and a gift from God. “A child born by in vitro fertilization is not in himself a mistake, or cursed. They are loved and allowed to come into existence and in that sense, created by God.”

IVF, however, is an abuse of life and doesn’t show proper trust in God. “Grace is what’s given; sin is what’s taken,” said Fr. Simon. He warned of the consequences of taking what God does not give, as Eve and Adam discovered in the Garden of Eden.

“I think the best you can do is say to the Lord, ‘Lord, if this happens, I will do my best to love this child and be a good grandma to this child. But Lord, if you can stop this, please do.’ That’s how I would pray. And be at peace that God’s going to handle this,” Fr. Simon advised.

Mary said she felt like she should do something active to stop it, but knew that such an action would alienate her son and daughter-in-law.

“I don’t think you can, that’s the problem. If they ask your advice, tell them the truth. Say that the whole point of the game is to trust God and by doing this you’re not trusting God, you’re taking something that isn’t given and there’s a consequence to that.”

Thy will be done!

Jesus, I trust in You!


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Lindsey Kettner serves as a Digital Media Producer at Relevant Radio®. She is a wife, mother, and graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, where she studied journalism and advertising. She writes daily at relevantradio.com and on the free Relevant Radio mobile app.