Let’s chat about marriage survival tips for the Christmas season, courtesy of Doug Hinderer and his podcast Marriage Unhindered. Whether you’re battling over whose family gets Thanksgiving or who’s hogging the Christmas cookies, Doug’s got the tools to help you make peace and keep the season holy. Grab your cocoa ☕, maybe a notepad 📝, and let’s dive in!
Why Is This Time a War Zone?
Doug kicks it off with a real talk moment: sometimes this time of year can bring unnecessary stress. 🎁⏳💸 Between the pressure of gifts, time crunches, and family expectations, tempers flare. But don’t despair: Doug’s tips, inspired by Dr. John Gottman, will help you navigate these choppy waters with grace, humor, and a lot of forgiveness. 🙏✨
Top Conflict-Slaying Strategies
Accept Your Partner’s Influence
Translation? Listen to your spouse and actually consider their perspective.
Doug breaks it down: God gave Adam a helpmate, not another bro to watch football with. Trust your spouse’s input: they’re there to make you better.
Pro tip for husbands: Accepting your wife’s influence is statistically proven to lower your divorce odds. #DataDoesntLie 📊
Solve What You Can
Newsflash: Only 30% of conflicts are solvable. 😳
Focus on what can be fixed (like choosing whose house to visit for dinner) and let go of the rest.
Doug’s advice he once received from a spiritual director: “If it’s not a sin, give in!” Seriously, will it kill you to let her pick the tree topper this year? 🎄✨
Soften Your Startup
The way you start an argument predicts how it ends. Start softly, not with “YOU NEVER…” 🛑🚨
Use Doug’s golden formula: “I feel [emotion] when you [action]. I’d like to ask you to please [solution].”
Example: “I feel overwhelmed when you schedule so many parties. Can we cut back to just two this year?” 👏
Learn to Make & Receive Repair Attempts
Know when to hit pause. Call a timeout if emotions are running high. Promise when you’ll come back to the convo. ⏳
Bonus tip: Figure out why something triggered you.
Compromise & Process Grievances
Doug’s advice: Be curious, not furious. Seek to understand your spouse’s perspective. 🕊️
Don’t let tiny grievances pile up into a volcano. Talk it out right away before it erupts into Mount I-Can’t-Stand-You. 🌋
Keep It Christ-Centered ✝️
Doug sprinkles in some Scripture to remind us that this season isn’t about the perfect tree or the prettiest gifts. It’s about gentleness, patience, and building each other up. (See: Philippians 4:5, 1 Thessalonians 5:11.)
TL;DR 🎯
Accept influence: Listen to your spouse: seriously, just try it.
Solve the solvable: Not everything has a fix, and that’s okay.
Start soft: Use “I feel” statements and don’t throw verbal grenades.
Repair quickly: Call a timeout, but don’t abandon the convo.
Let it go: Compromise if it’s not a moral issue.
✨ This Christmas, let’s aim for peace on earth and in your marriage. Hug your spouse, grab some eggnog, and actually enjoy each other this season. ❤
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