If your marriage feels like it’s slowly gliding from 30,000 feet down to “meh,” Doug Hinderer is your inflight marriage attendant with the oxygen mask of wisdom 😂. In this Marriage Unhindered podcast episode, Doug drops 12 simple but powerful habits to keep your spouse crazy in love with you… without needing a second honeymoon in Maui (though he’s not against it 😉).
You can listen to the whole hour here!
✈️ The Setup:
Doug compares marriage to a plane that slowly loses altitude. Like, you don’t even notice at first: 29,999…29,998…until boom 💥, your ears pop and you’re like, “Wait…what happened to us?”
But the good news? You can totally course correct. He gives you 12 ways to get back to that deep, mature, old-sweater kind of love: you know, the cozy, warm, “you’re my favorite person to do absolutely nothing with” kind of thing 🧣❤️.
🎯 1. Make them feel like the VIP in the room
👀 Eye contact. 📱Put down the phone.
When they talk, actually listen.
Not just “uh-huh” while checking your fantasy football score. Be present. Be engaged. Be their biggest fan.
😂 2. Laugh together like life depends on it
Because sometimes it does.
Marriage is hard; humor is your glue.
Inside jokes, goofy faces, laughing at your toddler’s meltdown (privately)…it keeps things light in heavy seasons.
3. Fight fair
Fighting is normal. Contempt is the killer.
No name-calling. No door slamming. Even in conflict, still respect each other.
🎁 4. Surprise them in meaningful ways
Doesn’t have to be a weekend getaway (but again, not saying no).
Handwritten notes. Favorite snack. A warm cup of coffee waiting.
✨The little things are the big things. ✨
🌱 5. Let them grow (and grow with them)
You’re married… not cloned.
Encourage their hobbies, passions, weird obsessions with sourdough or CrossFit.
6. Keep the romance going… especially when life is nuts
Life gets busy. Kids are loud. The dog puked.
Still, hold hands. Plan date nights. Send sweet texts.
Don’t let intimacy become a to-do list item (or worse…get left off the list).
🙏 7. Say THANK YOU (like, a lot)
Not just “thanks.” Be specific.
💬 “Thanks for doing the dishes.”
💬 “Thanks for rubbing my feet even though I clearly haven’t showered today.”
Gratitude makes love grow. Every time.
📵 8. Turn off the world and tune into each other
Dinner time = no screens.
Even just 10 minutes of uninterrupted convo shows: you matter most.
(Yes, even more than March Madness 🏀.)
📣 9. Be their biggest cheerleader
Got a spouse going through something hard? Or chasing a dream?
Say: “I believe in you. I’m proud of you.”
You’re not just married… you’re a team.
🏠 10. Build shared goals
Dream together.
Raise your kids well. Travel. Do a home reno. Start a food truck named “Holy Guacamoly.”
It’s our future… not just yours or mine.
11. Have the hard convos… even when it’s awkward
Don’t say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not.
Be honest, even if it’s messy.
You don’t have to solve it all right now, but don’t lie about your feelings.
💍 12. Choose them. Every. Single. Day.
Love isn’t a one-and-done.
Every morning, you wake up and say:
💬 “Today, I’m going to love you well. You’re my person.”
That’s the secret sauce.
Bottom Line
Great marriages don’t happen by accident.
They’re built brick by brick, laugh by laugh, thank you by thank you.
Even if you’ve lost some altitude, you can climb again. ⛅
So go hug your spouse. Look ’em in the eye. And maybe hold their hand in the car (unless you’re driving… then maybe one hand 😅).
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