Doug from Marriage Unhindered shared some serious wisdom on Catholic parenting in the dating arena. Whether you’ve got a teen tiptoeing into dating land or a twenty-something stuck in a love labyrinth, this podcast episode is a goldmine. Be sure to check out the full episode!
🙋♂️ Real Email, Real Parents, Real Concerns
A Catholic mom wrote in about her 16-year-old daughter dating a guy two grades ahead. Both families are solid; both kids go to Catholic schools. But…
Here’s what’s going on:
-Parents have been proactive about teaching chastity, boundaries, and healthy dating.
-They’ve allowed dating with boundaries; no one-on-one hangouts, preference for group settings or time at home.
-But reality sneaks in… after group outings, daughter sometimes ends up alone with boyfriend. 😬
Since they go to different schools, daughter’s pushing for more time together; the parents aren’t loving that idea.
Doug’s Take on Dating:
Dating should be oriented toward marriage. If you’re not within about two years of being able to marry, maybe wait.
Exclusive dating is best saved for the “I could see myself getting married soon” crowd.
-Teens can learn how to relate well with the opposite sex through group dating.
-Two years of dating before marriage leads to stronger odds of success as well as less pretending/more reality.
-Be consistent with boundaries. If they’re broken, privileges go “poof.
-When your teen whines, “Don’t you trust me?” try:
➤ “I do trust you; I just don’t trust every situation life throws at you yet.”
💡Parenting Advice:
Doug’s practical gems:
-Set boundaries and stick to them…no alone time, especially not in cars.
-Limit time together; one or two nights a week is plenty.
-If they keep breaking the rules, they don’t go out. End of story.
-Don’t fall for teen logic traps. “You don’t trust me?” isn’t an argument; it’s a distraction.
-You’re the parent. Be kind, firm, and unbothered by emotional storms.
Bonus tip: Have little siblings tag along on “dates” or keep the hangouts at home with family. Siblings: the original accountability software 😇
📚 Bonus Book Plug
Doug recommends “Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World” by Rev. Morrow. He loved it so much he bought a copy for every one of his nine kids. It’s that good.
💔Adult Kids & Enmeshment: When Breaking Up Feels Impossible
A caller mom shares the story of her 26-year-old daughter, dating a man who’s… let’s say comfortably stuck. He lives at home, talks a good game, but there’s zero follow-through and a side serving of emotional manipulation.
Doug’s take:
-If he’s not changing after two years, he’s probably not going to.
– “Believe the behavior, not the words.”
-Classic signs of enmeshment, love bombing, and control issues
-Time for daughter to go no contact… at least 60 days. No calls, texts, nothing. Space can bring about clarity.
Final Encouragement
Doug expects most high school relationships to fizzle naturally, but they can still be learning experiences. He praises:
-Open communication
-Good Catholic formation
-Intentional parenting, not helicopter parenting
Also, community college shout-out! Doug and his wife love the idea of a few extra years at home post-high school to help kids mature, stay grounded, and grow in virtue before heading out into the spiritual war zone of secular universities.
🎉 Catholic Parent Pep Talk
So, if you’re navigating your teen’s (or adult child’s) dating drama:
-Stay calm
-Hold the line
-Keep praying
-Trust the Holy Spirit
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