This episode of Marriage Unhindered with Doug Hinderer and special guest Carolyn Klika was a powerful, honest, and deeply compassionate conversation on a topic we don’t like to talk about in Catholic circles: divorce. 😬
You can listen to the entire conversation here.
💔 The Heartbreaking Truth
Doug shares the facts: divorce isn’t just a secular problem. Around 40% of Catholic marriages end in divorce. And yet… it’s something most parishes don’t talk about. So, if you’re in the middle of it, or if you know someone who is, it can feel like you’re walking through this time… alone. 😞
Carolyn Klika, divorce healing coach and founder of Abounding Joy Ministry, knows the pain firsthand. Her marriage ended after 30 years due to her husband’s struggle with gender identity and mental health. Yet even in that heartbreaking journey, Carolyn radiated dignity and heroic virtue, choosing compassion over bitterness, prayer over revenge. 💔🙏
🚧 Marriage in Trouble? There’s Hope.
Carolyn explains three phases of the divorce journey:
-Before (Can we still save it?)
-During (How do we avoid spiritual landmines?)
-After (Is it even possible to rebuild?)
She focuses especially on those still hanging on… those marriages teetering at the edge of the cliff. Here’s her advice:
-Don’t give up.
-Seek help: solid Catholic counseling, spiritual guidance.
-If only one spouse wants to work on it, that one can still make a massive difference.
Doug has seen marriages that looked completely dead come roaring back to life. One woman literally came to counseling saying, “just help me get divorced with the least amount of damage.” Now, she’s happily married to the same guy and sending out Christmas cards. 🎄✨
Divorce = Landmines for the Soul
Here’s one of the most striking images Carolyn shared:
“Divorce is like walking through a field of landmines: greed, anger, bitterness, selfishness.”
🔥 Oof. She’s right.
Carolyn and her husband prayed together in Adoration before heading to the courthouse. That kind of spiritual maturity doesn’t come easy, but it shows what’s possible when God is at the center, even in suffering.
For the One Left Behind (The “Victim” Spouse)
Sometimes, one spouse wants to work on the marriage, and the other just walks away. Carolyn gets it. She’s been there. But her message is hopeful and empowering:
-You still have some control, and massive spiritual influence.
-You can exhort your spouse in truth and love; call them higher.
-Prayer matters. One woman prayed for her cheating husband for years. He came back. They’re married 25+ years now with grandchildren.
Doug and Carolyn reminds us that annulments don’t erase trauma or pain. They can clear the path for a future marriage, but they’re not a magic “erase” button for everything that happened.
Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late
If you’re in a painful place and thinking “divorce might be the answer” … pause. 👀
That pain may be real, but the path forward might not be out. It might be through… Through boundaries. Through prayer. Through calling each other to virtue.
❤️ Final Word: There’s Always Hope
Doug and Carolyn wrap things up with a message every Catholic couple needs to hear:
“No matter how bad it looks… it is never too late for God to restore what’s broken.”
God can bring beauty from ashes. 🌸🔥 If you’re on that journey, or if you’re walking with someone who is, you’re not alone. And there’s grace for every single stage.
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