So, your kid might have left the Church… but don’t panic. This episode of The Inner Life with Patrick Conley is basically spiritual CPR for any parent or loved one feeling crushed by the slow fade (or full sprint) of a child away from Catholicism. Patrick is joined by Fr. Bobby Blood, who shares gentle wisdom.
You can catch the entire episode here!
💔 First, Stop the Self-Blame Spiral
Wrong question: “What did I do wrong?”
Better question: “Where are we now, and how can I love them where they are?”
Fr. Blood gets it; it’s super tempting to rewind the mental tape and analyze every moment. God lives in the present, not in your guilt reel.
“Look at right now,” he says. “Not just where you’ve been, but where God is taking you.”
🤷♂️ Why Do People Leave?
Short answer: It’s complicated.
Long answer: It’s really complicated.
Common reasons that Father has noticed:
-Bad experiences with clergy or fellow Catholics
-Disagreements with Church teaching
-Not “getting something” out of Mass
Sometimes, people don’t even know the real reason themselves. It’s usually a bunch of small hurts that snowball into, “I’m out.”
Fr. Blood’s Frontline View from the High School Trenches
As a spiritual director at Boylan Catholic High School, he sees kids drifting and coming alive in faith.
Teens can be deeply moved by retreats, good mentors, and community.
Father’s go-to move is to create space for open dialogue. Jesus isn’t afraid of questions, and neither is he.
🙏 Faith = A Gift (You Can’t Force It)
Faith isn’t just willpower. It’s a theological virtue…infused by God Himself.
Yes, some people need to walk away to eventually walk back in with ownership and fire 🔥.
“Sometimes God allows the wandering, knowing the comeback will be powerful.”
Can We Blame God??
Okay, tough question. Patrick plays devil’s advocate: If faith is a gift, is it kinda God’s fault when people leave?
Fr. Blood’s response: “Let’s put the ball back in God’s hands.”
Translation: God’s bigger than your worries. Let Him take over. Tell Him to go full Divine Full-Court Press on your kiddo.
The Community Matters… Like, A Lot
No one comes back alone; it takes encouragement and witness.
Think of your parish, school, or family not as a bunch of finger-wagging doctrine police, but as cheerleaders of grace 📣.
Father says that everyone has a unique way of witnessing. You don’t need to be St. Augustine; you just need to be you, walking with Christ.
🕊️ A Word on Shame vs. Accountability
Some parents might say, “Hey! I should look back at what I did wrong!”
Fr. Blood and Patrick see the point… a little accountability can be good.
But shame is a no-go. It’s paralyzing and not from God.
TL;DR: Fr. Bobby’s Spiritual Strategy
Love them where they are.
Talk to God before talking to your kids.
Don’t panic; God is not done writing their story.
Surround them with joyful, faithful witnesses.
Let go of shame. Cling to hope.
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