Parents naturally want the best for their children, even after they’re married. But when concern turns into control, it can place enormous strain on a marriage.
On The Drew Mariani Show, Drew welcomed licensed marriage therapist Doug Hinderer to discuss the delicate balance between offering support and interfering in a married couple’s relationship. While seeking occasional advice from trusted family members can be helpful, Doug warned that parents who attempt to direct or undermine their adult children’s marriages can do lasting damage.
He shared the heartbreaking story of a young husband whose marriage ended after his wife’s father persistently worked to convince his daughter to leave him. “The dad destroyed the marriage for no reason,” Doug said, calling such behavior a serious failure on the part of parents.
The conversation also explored another common pitfall: sharing marital struggles with family members. Although it may feel natural to confide in parents or siblings, Doug cautioned that doing so can permanently shape how loved ones view your spouse.
Instead, couples should seek wise, objective guidance from trusted mentors or qualified counselors who can support the marriage rather than unintentionally undermine it.
One caller, Lisa from Michigan, shared how difficult it was to step back from her adult daughter’s marriage. Rather than telling her daughter what to do, she sought professional guidance and simply presented the facts, allowing her daughter to make her own decision. Doug praised her approach, reminding listeners that parents gradually shift from directing their children to respecting their freedom as adults.
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