For Catholic couples struggling with infertility, being “open to life” can raise a painful question: How far should they go to have a child?
On Trending with Timmerie, Daniel and Bethany Maiola shared how infertility unexpectedly became part of their marriage. After about a year of trying to conceive, they began seeking medical answers through NaPro Technology. Over the next five or six years, they underwent tests, surgeries, and treatments, ultimately receiving the frustrating diagnosis of “unexplained infertility.”
Eventually, the emotional toll began affecting their marriage.
“There was a lot of grief, there was a lot of anger, and there was not a lot of peace,” Daniel said.
Through spiritual direction and prayer, their perspective began to change. Daniel came to recognize that even the profound desire for a child cannot ultimately satisfy the human heart. “Children are not the greatest good in our life. It’s Christ alone.”
That surrender did not mean rejecting openness to life. Instead, Bethany discovered that openness cannot be measured simply by the number of children a couple has.
“The generosity is not less because of the results of being open to life,” she explained.
For couples considering morally permissible fertility treatments, Bethany emphasized that there is no universal point at which they must stop. Medical interventions can carry physical, emotional, financial, and marital costs, all of which can factor into prayerful discernment.
The same applies to adoption. It is a beautiful vocation, but not an obligation for every infertile couple.
For the Maiolas, infertility eventually led them toward adoption and other forms of spiritual fruitfulness, including hospitality, service, and ministry.
Their journey offers hope to couples carrying this cross: A marriage can remain profoundly open to God’s gift of life even when biological children do not come. Faithfulness is not measured by results, but by loving surrender to God’s will.
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