We your children look up to you. Set an example for us by not using electronics so much. We need to see that it is possible not to be on the phone or tablet. When you tell me to get off my iPad or phone you should do the same. Kids use electronics too much, but adults do too! Let’s both get off the phone an hour or 2 before bed.
It hurts us if you are so focused on your phone that you get mad at us when we ask you a question. Show us that we are important by giving us full attention when we ask for something. Having your phone out when other people are present is rude and unsocial. It is easy to overuse and become addicted to technology, especially to TikTok and social media: it is time consuming and hard to get un-addicted. Try doing something productive like painting or exercise, and value face-to-face time with friends and with us kids. In other words, spend time with those you love. Pray more and spend some time in Adoration. Don’t be on electronics instead of caring for us. Spend more time with us and less with electronics; let’s go somewhere or do something, you can do electronics later. Pay attention to the show when we are watching something together. Keep family and mealtime sacred —time to ignore calls and messages. The same when helping with homework.
What I find helpful is to put limits on apps and screen time. It works! I put a 1-hour limit on my most used app and it will notify me to get off my phone when my time is almost up. Better yet, set the limit to 30 minutes/day. Or you may set a timer on the clock app for ten minutes and then when it goes off do something productive (like read a book) for 10 minutes. Leave the phone behind or in a different room: you don’t always need it with you. Hiding it from view helps me a lot: “out of sight out of mind.” You can even ask a friend to hide your phone so you can’t find it. Turn off unimportant notifications that tempt you to stay on your phone longer. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb or in Focus mode so you won’t get notifications. After school I do this and can only get texts from you, my parents. At bedtime I don’t get texts from anyone. I have a focus mode for praying and another for reading.
Keep electronics out of bedrooms and bathrooms. The “electronic free” zone could also include dining room, especially for family events. It is distracting to have electronics near you while you work: having information at your fingertips can make it harder for you to think.
Let’s be transparent with each other. We’ll report harassment or inappropriate material to you or to another trusted adult, even if it is embarrassing. Google and social media watches everything you do online. Don’t let apps track you. Avoid posting on social media. It can also make you envious of others for things you have or don’t, making you an influencer of bad. Give up social media for Lent, and you might give it up forever.
Set boundaries for us children. We don’t always know good boundaries, especially when we’re younger. Look at what we watch and do, including inappropriate TV and movies—in this give us an example. Never watch movies alone—entertainment is to be shared with family and friends. Let’s make a family media-use plan.
Declutter: delete apps you don’t need, that distract you, or you rarely use. For me it is games and streaming services. Keep it to the basics. Electronic distractions don’t alleviate your daily stress but augment it! Unfollow distracting users.
Be safe: Don’t answer calls from unknown numbers. If you answer, don’t talk first. They could deepfake your voice to scam others. Don’t use your phone in the car or while walking—you can be mugged. Keep your social media profile private and never share passwords, credit cards info, birthdays, address, location, or other personal information or photos—even vacation photos can tell thieves that your house is empty; to get private info scammers may promise you rewards like a free iPad. Only “friend” or “follow” people you know. Avoid Finsta (fake Instagram accounts): Be polite be yourself on social media, don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Use strong, complicated passwords. Don’t believe everything on the Internet, as not everything you see online will work in real life and TikTok challenges can be deadly. Check the link before clicking on any photo or website as it may lead to a virus. Be careful when shopping online, make sure it’s an official website; deals too good to be true usually are out to scam you.
Finally, if you do have trouble with your electronics ask us—we’ll help you. Last but not least: Pray every night.
Sincerely,
St. Mary of the Angels 5th – 8th graders (edited by Fr. John)
