When you lose a loved one, one of the most difficult parts of the grieving process is wishing you could still talk to them. You think of all the things you wish you had said while they were alive, or the things that have happened since their death that you want to share with them. Although this is a natural desire, it can lead people down some supernatural roads that are dangerous for their souls.
A listener named Pat recently called in to The Patrick Madrid Show because she unexpectedly lost a close friend, and since learning of the death, she has had a strong desire to try to contact her.
“Within weeks of finding out she was dead, because I was riddled with guilt that I hadn’t been available to her when she was dying, I wanted to contact her,” she said. “I mean, I prayed and all of that, but I think I felt like I wanted something more tangible. So the thought came to me, ‘Well, how about a psychic?'”
“Now, I’ve never done that. I put it aside. But I am seeing a therapist (not just for this, but for other reasons) and the therapist is Christian-based. And she suggested that I visit a psychic that she has gone to two or three times. So, of course, now the feeling is back.”
Pat explained that the feeling to contact her friend is so strong because she really wants to know why her friend didn’t tell her she was dying.
Patrick responded, “That’s not for you to know, at this point in your life, unless and until God chooses to allow you to know what that is. Now, in heaven you’ll find out. In the meantime, you are left not knowing, and that’s just part of the reality of death. The things we should have said – the I love yous, the I’m sorrys, and the I forgive yous that we should have said and never did – we have to live with that. That’s one of the lessons of forgiveness that we have to learn. Sometimes we have to learn it the hard way.”
“So resist this temptation,” Patrick encouraged. “Don’t go to the psychic. This is not good. In fact, it’s directly forbidden in the Catechism, where it says that any recourse to tarot cards or psychics or palm readers or mediums must be strictly avoided. Because they are always gravely against the virtue of religion. … And I can guarantee you that if the psychic said, ‘Oh, I’m picking up on something and here’s your friend.’ It’s not your friend. It would be a demon who would be involved. So I want to stay far, far away from that.”
Patrick assured Pat that the desire to visit a psychic is not a sin, but rather a temptation. And like other temptations, she should resist it, offer her struggles to the Lord, and ask for His help in finding peace in her situation. He also pointed out that she can use this strong desire to contact her deceased friend as an reminder and motivation to pray for her soul.
“This is an incentive to pray for her, not to try to manipulate familiar spirits,” Patrick said. “Maybe when those feelings come around, as they often do, just say, ‘OK, this is the Lord’s way of reminding me that I need to pray for my friend. I need to pray a decade of the Rosary, or I need to offer some active mortification on her behalf.’ And that’s how you can handle those feelings. Repurpose them as moments of prayer and reliance upon God.”
Listen to the full conversation below: