Stop Keeping Score (Morning Air)

Are you keeping score in your marriage?

Doug Hinderer, a seasoned marriage and family therapist with over 43 years of matrimonial bliss, shares revolutionary insights on “Morning Air” about transforming marriages. His key message? Stop keeping score in your marriage – it’s a game-changer! 🚫📝

Doug explains that couples often keep a mental tally of their partner’s missteps, from forgotten chores to unmet expectations, leading to a negative balance in the relationship. This ‘scorekeeping’ spirals into frustration and conflict, with spouses feeling unfairly judged.

But here’s the twist: Doug advises us to embrace our spouse’s imperfections as opportunities for personal growth and deeper love. He challenges the myth of a 50/50 marriage, advocating for unconditional love instead. ❤️💑

He reveals the importance of open communication, suggesting couples gently inform each other about behaviors that cause irritation. This approach fosters understanding and change. Plus, Doug encourages us to fall in love with our partner’s flaws.

Doug’s discussion with John Morales and Sarah Tafoya highlights John Gottman’s concept of “negative sentiment override” – where negative perceptions overshadow the positive. The antidote? Gratitude and positive reinforcement – focusing on our spouse’s virtues rather than their defects.

Doug’s advice is simple yet profound: Ditch the scorecard, embrace flaws, and love unconditionally. This mindset not only aligns with Catholic teachings but also paves the way for a more joyful, fulfilling marriage. 🌟💖🙏

Jake Moore serves as a Digital Audio Content Producer for Relevant Radio®. He is a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville, and is passionate about classic movies, Christian music, young adult ministry, and leading this generation to Christ through compelling media. You can listen to more of his podcasts at and on the Relevant Radio® app.