The devastating hurricanes of 2024 and the raging wildfires of 2025 confronted many Americans with a stark reality: dealing with sudden loss. For some it was the loss of a house or business, for others, a job, and even for some, their lives.
Deacon Ed Shoener, the president of The Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers, says the first step to dealing from loss is integration. “You can’t ignore it. It doesn’t go away,” he told Drew Mariani. As part of that integration process, Shoener suggests spending time in Eucharistic adoration. “Spending time before the Blessed Sacrament certainly helped me and I know that helps many other people.” He also emphasized bringing emotions to God in prayer – especially anger. “We can bring it to prayer and allow God to heal it.”
Shoener and his family experienced sudden loss when his daughter died by suicide. “I didn’t see it coming.” When he heard the news, he “screamed and wailed” in the backyard. Shoener said he didn’t know the meaning of the word wail until the death of his daughter. “It’s a deep visceral shock to your system, to your outlook on life, and many folks who are in this situation will come to understand what the word wailing is.”
The shock of sudden loss often brings up one of the oldest religions questions, ‘why does God allow suffering?’ It’s a question the Bible itself addresses in the Book of Job. Amid his pain and anguish, Job asks the Lord, “Why didst thou bring me forth from the womb” (Job 10:18)? Later in the text, God responds to Job with a series of questions beginning with, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding” (38:4). God does not explain “divine justice” and why suffering exists; rather, He underscores his power over all creation.
The Incarnation gives another answer to the question of suffering—one found in the life of Jesus. Christ understands suffering because He also suffered, Shoener told Drew Mariani. And though suffering continues on Earth, “Christ accompanies us through this suffering and pain.” This accompaniment offers hope because “death is not the end…there’s a resurrection and eternal life.”
