A few years ago, a priest shared his experience of working with young addicts. He would speak at Catholic and public schools to dissuade young people from using drugs. On one of his school visits, this priest was waiting to speak to the younger grades after having given a talk to the middle-schoolers. The principal gave him an office to work while he waited. At one point the priest got a little antsy and approached the principal: “I would like to do a little experiment with the first graders, to see if they can tell the difference between pleasure and happiness.” The principal replied, “But they are just first graders… they are not old enough to know that.” The visiting priest replied, “That’s why I want to do this experiment, to see if it is really true or not.” So the principal took the visiting priest to the first-grade classroom.

The first-grade teacher had a similar objection but let the priest hold forth. The priest ask the children to get out a blank piece of paper and NOT write their names on it—this was novel as they were taught that you always write you name on your paper…

Next, he asked the children to write down three things they got from their parents recently. After they finished that, he asked the children to write down the letter “P” next to the word if it gave them pleasure or the letter “H” if it made them happy. Next, he asked the children to write an “N” next to the word if it was something they needed and a “W” if it was something they wanted. Finally, he collected the papers and thanked the children and the teacher.

The principal and the priest went back to the office to review each child’s response. Some of the things the children had received from their parents were objects: jewelry, a computer game, a toy or doll… They all had “P” for giving them pleasure, and “W” for being something they wanted. The principal and priest noted other things on the papers too: I got a hug or kiss or smile… with an “H” to say it made them happy, and an “N” for being something they needed. One child even wrote: I got a “spanking” with an “N” next to it, saying “I needed that!”

So, first-graders really can tell the difference between happiness and pleasure, between needs and wants. It is us adults (and adolescents) who so often confuse the difference. Is this not why so many find it difficult to live Christian morality, because it seems to get in the way of our pursuit of pleasure. Yet our Lord tells us that Christian morality is about what will make us truly happy, both in this life and in our life to come in heaven. Ultimate happiness will come with our love and union with God… which is what we Need.

Christ summarizes the goal of Christian morality at the end of the Sermon of the Mount:

Not every one who says to me, “Lord, Lord,” shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?” And then will I declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers” (Matthew 7:21-23).

So, to be happy it’s not enough to teach others (“prophesy”); it’s not enough to help other people overcome their “demons” or do great “works” of philanthropy; no, we must do God’s will, forming a relationship with him. The whole Sermon of the Mount summarizes this.