Things you should say more often

We know that we should say these things, but it’s great to be reminded, says Danielle Bean, Catholic writer and speaker, who joined Morning Air® to discuss her blog about the things we should say more often.

These simple phrases are “building blocks of human relationships, those things that connect us, that repair relationships when they’re broken, the things that build each other up and build community inside of our Catholic families and parishes and amongst friendships,” says Bean.

Thank you! We all know this, but I think sometimes there’s a mental block and we don’t verbalize it. There are so many things we have to be grateful for in our world, and scientific studies show that people who practice gratitude, who focus on things they’re grateful for, who maybe make a list every day of things they’re grateful for and verbalize that thank you to other people, are happier and physically healthier, they’re more mentally stable,” says Bean. Saying ‘thank you’ is good for your mind, body, soul, and relationships!

I’m sorry. “If you care about the people you live with and work with, then learn to say these words because we all mess up. These are the most healing and repairing words.  Sometimes they know you’re sorry, but there’s really something very healing about hearing those words. And it’s part of the process that we need too, as people who are sorry,” explains Bean. This is the reason we have the sacrament of Reconciliation. It’s “not because God wants to hear us list our sins; He knows, He was there,” says Bean. But we need to name those things that we did wrong so that we can heal and grow. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I was wrong’ are difficult to say, but are great for humility in our relationships.

Hello. “Look up from those cell phones when you’re in your community, when you’re at your kid’s school, when you’re at church or at a sports event or standing in line somewhere. Look up from that phone, put that phone away, say hello to the people around you and look people in the eyes,” says Bean. Say hello to the cashier at the grocery store and ask them how their day is going. Basic human interaction is often lacking in our modern world because we are so absorbed in our screens.

I need help. “This is something we have a lot of trouble saying sometimes,” says Bean. We see this in the “martyr mom” who tries to take on everything and resents her family but doesn’t ask for the help that she needs. “If you want people to help you, you need to verbalize that and ask them. Not in a nasty way, not in a mean way or demanding way, but just letting them know the ways in which you could use their support.” It’s important to ask our family for help in getting things done, our friends for support when we are going through a tough time, or at the workplace when we are overloaded with projects. “It’s so humbling to admit we can’t do it all.”